Baked and Cold

So I was rummaging through my backpack for a pen at work the other day, and what do I find?  Drugs!  Apparently I unknowingly left the scraps of an eighth chilling in one of the inner workings of my bag for about five months, and then traveled internationally with the bag and baggie.  I guess its not so hard to smuggle drugs after all, especially if you don't even know that you're doing it.

In other news, the weather in Taiwan has abruptly shifted from hot and humid to cold and humid in the span of about a single day.  Apparently weather patterns in this country always work so comically fast here, with autumn lasting about two hours.  I can't wait for spring.  In addition to it being winter it is also the rainy season now, so the flowers are getting watered almost every day at some point.  Though one of my students told me that just ten years ago it would rain every single day during the winter, and now it is only most days.  I asked her if this was just due to normal climate shifts and she told me its because of global warming.  It's real folks.

In other news, MA and I have been getting caught up on the second season of the Jersey Shore (I know, I know... I'm a little behind here), and its making me feel very disappointed that we never got to do t-shirt time.  I guess for us the closest thing was "Smoke Dood?"

If anyone is curious for lengthy explanations of any pictures I posted on facebook, please fire away.  I'd love to elaborate on whatever has peaked anyone's interest.

MA has also turned me on to a really good band that you all may or not be familiar with, "Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin".  I know the name is a bit much/retarded, but give them a chance.  Parts of their songs remind me strongly of Vampire Weekend, if that's any incentive to give them a listen.

The sugar babies are growing rapidly, and Warren had sprouted a bifurcated penis (Wiki it, it's not a defect).  I wonder how long it'll be before him and Maude are bifurcatedly fucking.  Or maybe he's already knocked her up.  Who knows?  Maybe they fuck while I sleep.  Fuckin' skanks.

I'm Not Racist, I'm Just Perceptive

The reactions to my first entry were mixed (some negative Nancies found it a tad negative?).  So now I will turn the eye of my genius literary wit onto the good things in Taiwan.  Moses has come down from the Asian mountain with another pair of tablets for your reading pleasure. 

10 Things I (Don’t) Hate About You(, Taiwan)

One

It might just be me, but I think motorscooters are the duck’s guts (urban dictionary it right now).  When MA and I got here, we “inherited” a pair of fourteen year old scooters from our teacher predecessors, and by “inherited” I mean paid 350 bucks a pop for.  They’ve broken down a few times and we can’t leave them out in the rain much, but I still love them to death.  Mine tops out around 70 kph (40ish mph), and MA’s can go over 100 kph.  Most of our driving is on relatively empty regional highway, so cruising along with headphones while gazing around at the scenery is just awesome.  The county we live in is surrounded on all sides by either mountains or ocean, so any direction you look in can seem like an oil painting.  Of course, in some corners of the county there are giant smokestacks that can be seem from miles around, but I think the juxtaposition of a dirty, polluting smokestack against a beautiful mountain vista is actually quite nice to look at.  Sometimes I can see the clouds of dark grey smoke working their way out of sight into the grand valleys dividing the various mountains.  It is doubtful that the mountain foliage appreciates the smoke much, but its always cool to see a mountain peak poking through a cloud.  Who cares if it’s a naturally occurring cloud?

Oh, and also, scooters get unreal gas mileage by the by.  I spend 10 dollars a week on gas and I drive a shitload.  I’d like to say that I’m getting one for myself when I get back to America, but my whole lack of a driver’s license (and money) is bound to put an end to any such pipedream.  I guess I’ll just get a bike. 

Sidenote: Am I crazy for thinking that being a bike messenger would be the most fun job ever?  You get paid to bike around a city all day, you’re getting paid to exercise and have fun.  I know its dangerous and blah, blah, blah, but I think that’s only if you’re bad at bicycling (cough, Katie, cough, cough).  I don’t even understand how bike messenger is still a real job.  What are you delivering that can’t be emailed, precious Tridium so Doc Oc can carry out his misguided experiments?  As long as I don’t have to deliver anything radioactive, sign me up.  I want to be the guy with the bike and the bag.